People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
