Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
