my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
