Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i believe in u and ur pee
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