Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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