Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize