At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
