how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
