i will never coherently bang her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
