Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
