I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
