I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
