fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
