that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
