Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize