My nipple is on Facebook.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize