I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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