Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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