OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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