pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
