3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
