What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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