Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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