her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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