So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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