my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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