A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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