I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
