Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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