god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
