how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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