I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
