ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
