I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im about as happy as oj after his trial
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
