Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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