my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
MIDGETS
????
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize