benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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