It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize