well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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