$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Randomize
