I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize