I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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