it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
