i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
