she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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