He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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