he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
