my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
