lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize