I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
