It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he was CRYING into my vagina
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pants are for mortals
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
