I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
