she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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