will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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