So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
