oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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