So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
