So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
