She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
