he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
