We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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