thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
