I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
