last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
