i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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