His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize