Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
