Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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