The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
