Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
