come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
