look no pants
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
