I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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